I don't know why, but when a new year is coming around we (meaning anyone who's sentimental... which shockingly is a higher amount of people than expected) look back at what's happened these past 365 days. Well, the highlights of those 365 days. As Elvis Presley ones sang, "we're going up, we're going down, we're going up, down, down, up, anyway you wanna let it role, yeah, yeah, yeah". This all together made me think about time and changes and whatnot. It's funny to see how we, or I, can be moved by something that's established to happen. And that it (meaning a new year) has been happening for a long time and still can make us think about it differently.
I genuinely believe that time isn't something that passes from moment to moment. So many things happen at the same time. They may differ in duration, but at a certain point a million things will overlap eachother. Time can go fast and slow. The clock might tick the same ticks as before, doing its routine, but it isn't always the same. Something good goes by as snow for the sun, while something bad can last forever.
Before you know it, everything has changed. I don't like change. When everything stays the same there's this illusion of a safe and secure factor. Change often comes across as something negative. The feeling of losing control comes over me. I just want to build upon what's already there. And I know that this building is contrary to staying the same. I guess that most rigorous changes develop over time without anyone actually noticing it (well, until you look back and observe all the things that are different now (well, big changes sometimes happen in a second. Although when you look back at it, it's often retrievable to the things that happened before that crucial moment)).
At school I've learned how to preserve objects. The first thing the teacher told us was that you can't preserve everything. And you certainly can't preserve something forever. Time goes by, stuff gets used, broken or just old. This is sort of a good thing. A shame, indeed, but it gives room for new things that are now or soon to be seen as important. So you could almost say that time is a relief. Although, the thought of us humans preceeding forth and better from the past can be preceived as a lie. Like Chris Kraus wrote in her book I Love Dick: "(...) the hope that all of us are travelling through concentric rings of knowledge towards some greater truth. And beneath that hope, the biggest lie: that things are getting better". Not everything that's gone and forgotten should or ought to be in that state. Passing time and the idea of things getting better, going forward, is a relative factor to actuality.
It's difficult to put time into words. Time goes by. It doesn't really matter if you like it or not. Sometimes you feel like it's a human process. A concept that flows to our meanings, but more often to work against us. There's this longing or desire within me that's hoping for a visual circle. And in someway we've already been there and done that. You've just need to look at the fashion industry and you understand the concept of recycling. And that too gives me the desire to move on and yet I want to relive the good ol' times (yes, I'm somewhat of a whiny hypocrite).
And at the end I just want to conclude with the goodbye monologue of the 11th Doctor. Because it basically depicts my heartache for time and gives an insight into how we, I think, ought to preseve the concept of moving on:
"We all change. When you think about it. We're all different people all through our lives. And that's okay, that's good. You've got to keep on moving. So long as you remember all the people that you used to be".
May ya'll live long and prosper. Happy new year!
Love,
Dominique
