Shot through the heart, and you're to blame, darling you give love a bad name!

From Bon Jovi's You Give Love A Bad Name to Destiny's Child's Survivor, who cares about sappy love songs any more? The bleakness of breaking up or the realisation that you'll be #foreveralone is where it's at! Especially Valentine's Day, when everyone is strumming their guitars and humming 'dream a little dream of me', is the perfect day to counteract and celebrate your loneliness. Because although it's against popular believe, being alone isn't as bad as it sounds (Paradise By The Dashboard Light, anyone?).

Who wants a guy, girl or non-binary pal who obligatory takes you out for a 'romantic' dinner while you just as easily could stay home, anxiously cuddle your pup and sway to Paloma Faith's Smoke And Mirrors. Now all shout on top of your lungs: don't look back 'cause you've just lost your lover!

So say bye bye to love, bye bye to happiness and HELLO to loneliness! I've selected the perfect songs for all the different degrees of heartache you might be experiencing at the moment...

Degree of heartache: Trouble in paradise

We're getting close to goodbye, you're running out of time

Not quite alone yet, but plotting on killing your (romantic) partner? Let me fuel those feelings for you! Trouble With My Baby by Paloma Faith will just work wonders when trying to decide between a cold hearted text message or a raging novel.

Degree of heartache: Hanging in there

No, love don't come easy but I keep on waiting, anticipating

Hopeful, desperate but hopeful, is how I would describe The Supremes' You Can't Hurry Love. Just keep repeating to yourself those precious words of mama-dear, as she's most probably right (as mama-dears often are): your love days will come! Just not today. Or tomorrow.

Degree of heartache: NOT hanging in there

I ain't got nobody, nobody, nobody cares, nobody cares, nobody cares for me

Desperation never sounded so good! I Ain't Got Nobody is just over a hundred years old and perfect for anyone looking for a good excuse to sulk (although, honestly, who needs a reason?). My personal preference goes to the fictional band Gloria Dee (played by Camilla Marie Beeput) and her Quartet from the British detective series Grantchester (available on Spotify!). You've never felt lonelier...

Degree of heartache: Get up and get over it

I used to lie awake at night callin' your name, now I sleep good and miss a lot of trains

Although a painful reminder for all those running late and literally about to miss their trains, I Miss A Lot Of Trains by Tom T. Hall speaks to the heart of everyone who's 100% done. No grievance, no single salty tear (or ugly crying). Love who? Never heard of her.

Degree of heartache: Are you.. are you OK?

I want love to roll me over slowly, stick a knife inside of me, and twist it all around

You don't experience heartache, you eat it for breakfast. Although a love song at heart, Love Interruption by Jack White is -at best- a rather unconventional serenade to sing to your [non-existing] lover. A serenade perfect for every cynic or maniac who's infected with the lovebug.


So grab your classic 1980s boombox, stand outside the house of the ones who've wronged you AND TURN UP THE VOLUME! Or sing/cry yourself to sleep with these miserable words and melodies intoxicating your safe space i.e. the fort of duvets seperating you from the cold harsh world. And remind yourself that the only thing worse than someone who's bitter, is someone who's love struck. Ew!

Unchain your heart and embrace the loneliness: which degree of heartache are you experiencing at the moment?