Did You Miss Me?
Did you miss me?
Did you really think that I was gone?
So baby tell me, did you miss me?
Did you really think that I was done?
The Veronicas - Did You Miss Me? (I'm a Veronica)
Guess who's back at the writing desk!
I'm back with a bang, swing and sashay! Writing to you from a sunny back garden; I however am not sunbathing, I'm hidden away in the shadows and being lighted by the trusted beams of the computer screen.* Don't worry, we haven't grown apart. I've been lighted by the same lights -without the sunny weather, mind you- these past couple of... months. It has been months (four to be exact) since I have posted a proper post. But here I am again! Bang-bang, cha-cha!
'What I've been up to?', you ask. Well how very kind of you! A few months ago (four or less) I was standing on a crossroad. I looked to my right and I looked to my left, and neither option satisfied me. So I asked myself "Why is a raven like a writing desk?". "How am I supposed to know?", I answered somewhat agitated (hello, trying to make important life-choices here). Then it hit me. Why follow the road paved out before you if you can try to find one of your own. One that does satisfy -or at least: one whereby the answer is unknown. Why is a raven like a writing desk? I don't know, but does it hurt trying to find an answer? Trying to find not only an answer, but more importantly, a road that can lead you there? Basically I've been reading Alice in Wonderland too much, but less basically: I've taken a step outside of my comfort zone. And please do believe me when I say that this was quite an out-of-character move for me to do. I am the comfort zone, I define myself by all that is and feels good to me. This didn't include going to the Amsterdam Fashion Institute and following an honours programme in Fashion Theories. It absolutely -in a million years- didn't. And the funny thing now is, is that I'm scared to go back. Back to the crossroad. Because these past couple of months that has been my comfort zone. My road to an answer. And although I haven't found an answer (yet), I'm anything but keen to leave this road taken. However, to take it back to the beginning...
I was standing on a crossroad. The options given were clear. Easy and clear. And boring. Deadly-boring. Everything I did not want; which begs the question what I'm doing there in the first place, but that's for another day, another pace and another tread. So what is one supposed to do? Well, there was always that other option. That option that had never crossed my mind before. Ever. (I'm one to walk along to get the job done, not the wandering type). In a moment of despair I thought 'f*ck it'. Why not? WHY NOT? Well, I could tell you a lot of reasons why not, but I did it anyway (because 'f*ck it'). This choice -surprisingly easily- brought me to the entrance of the Amsterdam Fashion Institute. Although an outsider I -again: surprisingly easily- became an insider. I even made myself believe I was a fashion student. Not only because everyone else believed I was a fashion student (the amount of people that approached me to ask for help with their projects is almost laughable; in their defence though, I was surrounded by fabrics, mannequins and lots of actual fashion students. I only happen to be the rotten apple, the teacup with a hole in it). Apparently I blend in perfectly.
For an honours degree based around Fashion Theories, I've learned bugger all about fashion; but that was not the point. I've learned a bloody lot about theories, especially philosophy. Turns out I'm quite a philoso-enthusiast (who'd thought?). Oh, and I've learned also something about marketing theories. All I can say is that 'it's not my area of expertise' (who'd thought?).
So here I am, once again, with much more insights. But no answers. With much more time. But what is time anyway? And with the intention to start writing -actually writing- again. Or more. Because oh boy, I've been writing myself silly these past couple of months. I keep talking about standing on a crossroad and trying to find my way, but more accurately it would've been: I sat down and stared at my computer screen... a lot. 'The way' (or crossroad) has become equivalent to 'the web' and the road is the URL that you have to type in the bar above. Less romantic. More accurate. So hopefully this URL will find its way on the web. That sounds sad.
P.s. I'm thinking about trying to post twice a week: on Tuesday and Thursday. T(ea)Days, if you like. So something to look forward to! (or not) (but please do!). Each post will go up around 20:00 (CET).
*That AND it's been pooring outside ever since I wrote that line... So far it's been a very wet summer. Sunshine, where'd you gone?
What I'm wearing: Top - Made by me / Trousers - Made by me / Bag - Vintage / Hat - Zeeman / Sunglasses - H&M (old) / Shoes - H&M (old) /