I want to utilize the word fashion more in Fashioned by Pluche. So I thought I could perhaps talk about the Chanel Spring-Summer 2017 Haute Couture show and how Karl Lagerfeld has used a lot of bling and fluff in this collection.[1] Or naturally the Spring Couture show of Dior designed by Marzia Grazia Chiuri with big plumes of feathers in the hair (it's not a good year to be an ostrich).[2] Or I could tackle the topic from a wider perspective and talk about 'the hottest bag trend of the new year'.[3] All very valid topics. However I'm more interested in my apparent psychic abilities to streamline my own fashionable interests with the thought-process of Herr Karl. If only my bank account would agree.


Smoke and Mirrors
And it's not only Karl that's copied my inner catwalk with bling and fluff, the same can be said about Chiuri and her plumes. Although my plume obsession was reignited thanks to religiously watching Smoke and Mirrors by Paloma Faith over and over again while loudly yelling 'don't look back 'cause you've just lost your lover!' (perfect for painting on the back of a jacket, right?). Now to think of it, there's also quite a lot of bling going on in that video...

And what about the hottest bag trend of the new year? Apparently it's a round bag that's going to carry our stuff through 2017. But wait a minute, isn't my favourite bag a round bag and wasn't I just looking on Etsy to find another round bag because mine is beginning to fall apart?
I'M PSYCHIC ALRIGHT! Grab me a ouija board and let's talk to grandma!


I'm not psychic (*whispers* I can see dead people), but there might be a few other reasons that can explain my sudden strike of fashion luck...

I'm a fashionista
I browse through the occasional fashion magazine, I follow the American, British, Parisian, German, Italian, Japanese, Australian, Dutch and Vintage Vogue on Instagram (I especially checked for you) and I sometimes claim to be a fashion blogger (which I'm not. But sometimes I really do fancy to be one). I'm a fashionista in denial. And what do fashionista's do? They try to out run the trends set by the big names in fashion so one day they can be one of those names and rule over the world. Because that's how the fashion industry works. The absurd is only absurd when no one is wearing it. So just start wearing it -bling, fluff, round bags- and eventually you'll be a fashionista too. For a few seconds. But nothing to worry: once you've waited long enough, history will repeat itself and we'll all be bouncing around in the same gear. Again. But then new. It'll be great, mark my words!

I can show you a world
What else? Trend forecasting, darling. It's not anymore a matter of 'see it, be it', but 'say it, pay it'. What I mean? Trend forecasting is a lucrative way of saying what you see, analyse it and make people pay to see it too so they can buy it/make it/report it. Forecasting might not be the right word, as it is more a self-fulfilling prophecy. But it works! So just go out, shout and pout the same sh*t over and over again, and boy oh boy, you'll be fancy-pancy within... well... some time in the future. Maybe. (No guarentees or taking back).


Maybe she's born with it
FACT: everyone can wear clothes. But it's often not the what but the how. I mean, look at your average it-girl styling yet a-n-o-t-h-e-r pair of classic jeans with a classic white shirt, wearing classic boots, carrying a classic bag and totally rocking it. For the thousandths time. But who can blame her? She does look good in it. And not only that. This classic combo gets put into the papers. Headlines are shouted from the rooftops: this is the beginning of world peace, the essential wardrobe piece. THIS IS HOW EVERYONE SHOULD LOOK LIKE. No more searching, no more polluting, no more individuality! A suit to suit everyone! Until you try it on and feel miserable in it. Boohoo. (That's not the ghosts talking, just me sulking. I want to look like Alexa Chung in jeans, why don't I look like Alexa Chung in jeans? "Because you're not Alexa Chung", thanks friendly ghost. But still. Why? How? How can someone make a simple white tee and jeans look phenomenal and on me it just looks AWFUL, darling, AWFUL).

What I'm saying is that classics might be great, might be boring, but it's not the what but the who. "Doctor Who?", I hear you ask in a trembling voice while shakingly clutching your hands around a classic Levi's. "Kinda, yeah", I answer reassuringly, "just instead of a Police Box he travels around in a wardrobe. And instead of the Doctor a Dalek appears out of nowhere EXTERMINATE EXTERMINATE EXTERMINATE EXTERMINATE!!!!" You look at me in shock, "is that really the best Dalek impression you can do?". I turn my head away in shame. My eyes are locked on the ground. "I'm sorry", I whisper into the nothingness, "I'm sorry to have let you down on not only a physical but also very much on an emotional level. I know, I know, this is a sensitive subject. And I can only apologise for my own behaviour. I'm sorry, I truly am." I turn my head back to you, I look up. A single tear is making it's way over my cheek, to my chin and then slowly falling through space, only to land perfectly on the toe of my shoe, melting away the dust that had gathered there. You stretch your arm out, "EXTERMINATE EXTERMINATE!!!", and you vaparize me into the abyss.

May this be a lesson to you, my dearest reader, neither a bad Dalek impression or hate are the answer. No hate towards the boringly dressed, the fashionably dressed, the overly-dressed, the otherworldly dressed or the undressed (yes, you can also read that sentence in a more political sense on broader issues than Levi jeans and Ostrich feathers. Although I'm truly concerned for these soon to be bald ostriches. It just wouldn't be the same to be chased by them. The desperation is not only in the situation self, i.e. being chased by an ostrich, but also the look of it. I mean, it's not the same as being chased by a puppy or a chicken or a bold puppy and a plucked chicken. Do you get what I mean? Stay safe my feathered friends!).

Love,
Dominique


Sources:
[1] Chanel, "Spring-Summer 2017 Haute Couture Show - CHANEL" (25 January 2017), https://youtu.be/t15ftuJ7Vl4, 26 January 2017.
[2] S. Mower, "Spring 2017 Couture Christian Dior" (23 January 2017), http://www.vogue.com/fashion-shows/spring-2017-couture/christian-dior, 26 January 2017.
[3] Bloglovin - The Edit, "The Hottest Bag Trend of The New Year" (20 January 2017), https://blog.bloglovin.com/blog/hottest-bag-trend-new-year, 20 January 2017.