My Christmas-rash, aka my non-religious, non-traditional and non-social background that prevents me from experiencing merriness, is acting up again. I curl my lip in disapproval when walking past blow-up snowman, I hiss at people cheerfully singing 'It's the most wonderful time of the year' and I double roll my eyes when Santa asks me what I want for Christmas this year.

"Whatya looking at?!, I throw in for good measure while shaking my head and sticking out my tongue."

"None of your business, old man!", I shout at him with discontent only truly felt when directly looking into the sad and confused eyes of a stranger walking out of the old people's home, who accidentally happens to have a silver beard as well as wearing a red coat. "Whatya looking at?!", I throw in for good measure while shaking my head and sticking out my tongue. That should teach him! "Naughty or nice", I mutter to myself, "I'm an independent woman who don't need no man to fill up my consumerist black hole of forever unsatisfaction, I have an ever-growing student loan to take care of such things 24/7 365 days a year!"

Tell me why

As questioned in my first Blogmas post, I wonder why or where my unfestiveness comes from and there's only one way to find out... My mother. My dearest mother who, as might be expected, has been responsible for my physical and emotional well-being. Which means that in some way my 'emotional distress' and disinterest for this widely celebrated holiday should be found with her; as the [metaphorical] baubles and twinkle lights can't be added without a [metaphorical] Christmas tree to begin with. So perhaps it's not my unfestiveness but mirrored unfestiveness. This asks for twirling my detective moustache a la Poirot (David Suchet-style of course) and diving into the roots of this problem...

We are self-aware non-festive people. However you bought a bauble shaped like a red car the other day. Two questions: what's the matter with you? And is this the festive turn of the century?

I haven't gone mad, I swear. But yeah. It was a spur of the moment kind of thing. And I really like it, I do, we can hang it in a wreath or something or... you know, just keep it safely tucked away in the closet. Behind closed doors...

We've recently got some old photo books from grandma, and I noticed that there are multiple pictures with Christmas trees proudly on display, people smiling, having fun. Did you had any particular Christmas traditions back in the day?

On Christmas day we always, as I think is common, had a 'fancy' meal together. With my grandma, grandpa, sister, brother, their partners and children etc. A real family affair. The table would be set with a damask tablecloth and fancy tableware, which otherwise was carefully put away for the other 364 days. And candles. Everywhere candles! From top to bottom. Grandpa would light up the whole house with candlelight. If there was a hint of space, there was a candle to fill it up. He was almost like a merry pyromaniac.

I remember grandma always had a Christmas tree and we used to have -before they all broke- quite a lot of baubles from grandpa Was putting up the tree 'a thing' when you were younger?

We always put up the Christmas tree on the 20th of December, the day after grandma's birthday. And it would stay there until the Twelfth Day (January 6th). Decorating the tree was always a very special event. We used old baubles that were passed down through the generations within our family. And each year we alternated between white lights and coloured lights. One year white, the other coloured, white, coloured etc. And I, as youngest, would always be lifted up to put the peak on top of the tree.

This all sounds fun and nice. So: why have you stopped spreading the Christmas spirit?

I don't hate Christmas. Just in our house. Actually when you were younger we celebrated Christmas in true British-style (i.e. extravagantly compared to our more 'modest' idea of Christmas). We had garlands wrapped around the railing with big red bows and presents and lights, the whole shebang. The day after Sinterklaas (Dutch tradition celebrated on the 5th of December and origin of Santa Claus) when you and your sister would come home from school, I'd already put up the tree and all the other Christmas-extravaganza. However the closer we came to Christmas, the more Christmas stuff would disappear. And on the second day of Christmas (Boxing Day) the Christmas tree would already be thrown out.

But why is Christmas now 'banned' from our house?

I'm just not feeling it. Or have felt it these past couple of years. Although I absolutely love Christmas songs. I can already listen to Christmas songs when November begins. Naturally all 1980s. Modern Christmas songs just don't capture that sound. Wham! is naturally number one. Last Christmas must be the Christmas song of the century.

Although many people have seemingly forgotten this, but Christmas is originally a religious holiday. I know grandpa was raised Lutheran and grandma Protestant. Although they weren't religious people, did they take any of their upbringing into the way you celebrated this season?

No. We never went to church or something. I've been once to church, on Christmas eve, together with my niece. That was quite the experience. I really didn't know anything about religion and just sat there with my mouth wide open thinking 'well this is something completely different'.

"One Christmas, when I was I think fourteen years old, I was allowed to drink my first glass of wine."

Do you have a favourite Christmas memory?

Not necessarily favourite, but one Christmas, when I was I think fourteen years old, I was allowed to drink my first glass of wine. Before that we already drank eggnog and I believe the percentage of alcohol was much higher in that than with the wine...

And... Did you like it?

No! It tasted horrible! Definitely went back to the eggnog!

To be honest, I don't think Christmas in particular is the problem. I think in general we are a bunch of party poopers. Why do you think that is?

You're abslutely right and I really have no idea. Maybe because we don't need all the fuss or glitters or trees or baubles to appreciate one another and have a great time together.


We had to go to the garden centre, again, as I needed a Santa to stage 'an accident with' for Blogmas Day 2 (yes this was indeed written before my third trip to the garden centre. As I said, I practically live there now). When walking around all the stalls they've put up, selling all kinds of Christmassy delights, my mother enthusiastically declares: "Shall we get a Christmas tree or mistletoe or...". I look at her in disgust, "we what?". She picks up a Santa bauble, "Look this one is nice." "No", I snap back. "You know what", she says sighing, "I don't think I'm the source of Grinchmas...".