It's 15:55 on the 6th of November 2016. It's a Sunday.

I've just listened for the second time to the newest album of Lady Gaga called Joanne.
I really like the 'atmosphere' of the album. She sounds very, I hate to use the word, 'nostalgic'.

I've just started writing on my newest (first) zine. It's about nostalgia, being stuck in the past (or something similar. I'm not sure yet what way it's going to gravitate towards). Currently, however, I'm stuck with words. I'm bursting with ideas but I can't visualize them. I can't write it down. It floats through my head and changes while I think about it. I wish I could write what I'm thinking in the order I'm thinking it. But I'm always too late. I tried to repeat it over and over again, but it changes. The words are gone. Lost in thought.

Girl, where do you think you're going? 
(Joanne)

I've never really been a big fan of Lady Gaga, but after the Cheek To Cheek album with Tony Bennett I really began the appreciate her voice. I actually listened to her sound. The way she pronounces words and then naturally the words she pronounced. Maybe it is because I'm normally not a really big fan of an electric, mechanical coating on songs (although catchy 80s songs are on repeat in this household. Scratch what I said: I'm full with electric, mechanical coating. What's wrong with that?).

I confess I am lost
In the age of the social
(Angel Down)

I'm listening for the third time to the newest album of Lady Gaga.
I've started knitting. It's a new project. Burned orange. A simple 'design'.
I'm scared. Scared of the future. More particular: I'm scared for wasting my time. Wasting my time on knitting instead of writing. On writing for my zine instead for school. On writing for school while it gets to be declared rubbish anyway. I've lost my faith. My self-esteem got hurt (yes, I'm still going on and on about that. What's a girl to do?). I swore to live like a nun and gave up within 24 hours.

I don't know what I want. I want short term satisfaction but have no plan for the future. I've got a short term plan for the near future. Useless. It gets changed within seconds, like the words in my head. Twisted, turned, changed and ultimately lost.

You're giving me a million reasons to let you go
You're giving me a million reasons to quit the show
You're givin' me a million reasons
Give me a million reasons
Givin' me a million reasons
About a million reasons
(Million Reasons)

Waiting is awful. I always hate to wait. I thought I was patient, but I've realized I'm patient when it goes my way. When there's time to be patient (and there's no time to be patient).

I'm listening for the fourth time to the newest album of Lady Gaga.

I'm listening for the fifth time to the newest album of Lady Gaga.

Love,
Dominique