My Ego and I | Sea You Later

by - August 02, 2016

I know very little about anything, but I do know this: 
if you can live your life without an audience, you should do it.
Bo Burnham

Please read me, please follow me, please applaud me, please like me, please eat me, 
please drink me, please be me (says the ego)...

The following is inspired by my last post [here]. What's more like summer than having an existential crisis? Just a small one. It's too hot for any real excercise. Please join me:

Sometimes I feel it's silly or stupid to talk/write about the things I like (or naturally dislike). Because it's an ego-centric way of viewing the world. That's to say: you only focus on the end result, on yourself. That of the product in relation to yourself (how can I benefit from this?). This leaves out all the rest. This gives no notion or acknowledgement to all that besides yourself. Or to all that what for instance goes into creating the product (and therewith arguably the (image) of self) in the first place.

This egoism, this self-obsession, is also in many ways the reason the world (to take a small example) is in the state that it is (to make a small statement). Why for instance clothes are still being manufactured in such excess amounts or by such low payed (and under aged) workers. Why cosmetic companies are still testing on animals. They are mostly not being considered within the picture of the end result. Of the construction of 'you' (thereby (smart) branding and marketing naturally focuses on this miracle dream image you want/need to strive for). And don't take me wrong: I'm still very much part of that, of that self-obsession (hello, who's here writing a blogpost??). But this 'awareness' keeps gnawing at me. My rose-tinted glasses are getting muddy. Naturally, because of this (self)awareness, I can claim that I'm not (as much) ego-driven because I acknowledge these lacks within the system and within myself. However to act upon such knowledge is sometimes harder than you think. Not only because product-makers aren't always as honest as they could/should be (or the information, the knowledge, is simply out of reach), but also because it's something so deeply ingrained in our society, our upbringing and therefore within ourselves. 'I' do matter above anything else. This world is viewed and experienced through 'I'. It's true, but is it all?

We've been taught to think of, about and around ourselves. To feed the ego and to express this interest in every way possible (hello blog, my old friend). Thereby not necessarily considering all that goes before or beyond that expression. A constant search for self, self-fulfilment and self-performance fed and encouraged by everything surrounding us (do I need to look at you, again, bloggy-blog?). As Bo Burnham said in Make Happy (or at least I think it was in Make Happy...) that's why social media is so perfect. We're taught to express ourselves 24/7, but we very soon find out that first of all not everyone can be in the spotlight (or naturally sunlight, to make it a bit more summer inspired...) 24/7 and that second of all no one is actually interested, let alone 24/7, in you searching for that spotlight (because, arguably, everyone is pushing to be standing in it instead). Through social media we can perform this desire and fulfill this urge or graving for the spotlight driven by our own ego (although, not to forget, it's not all doom and gloom: as said, this blog is a performance of ego, but also a performance -or platform- where people 'I' can speak my mind, which otherwise wouldn't be possible, and to connect with others, however...). And that's basically also what I'm doing right here, right now. Look at me. Look at my own safe space online. Look at my spotlight (ain't it pretty). Because why would you care? And if you care: why do you care? Possible answer: to feed yourself through someone else (not necessarily meant in a bad way) - to find something that enhances your being, or at least entertains it; but it's still an act in masses performed through the ego. My ego (and 'I').

Ain't that something to think about when lying in the sun? Or when you're me: safely tucked away in the shadows. Pale skin and ginger genes (my grandma was a ginger) in combination with sun is rather an enemy than a spotlight friend... So, what do you think? Am 'I' an ego driven maniac or are there more grey areas to be explored? Let me know in the comments below! Or -if you're in the mood of getting creative- send me a postcard from wherever you are.* (either one will do the trick)


*Not kidding. Please send me a postcard. 'I' am lonely...

What I'm wearing: Dress - Charity Shop (Setter Lady) / Beret - H&M (old) / Bag - Charity Shop / Shoes - H&M (old) /

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