Reviewing the Review: Lush 93,000 Miles Shower Jelly

by - December 04, 2017


I've thought of a million-and-one (or 93,000 *winks*) different ways to start this blogpost. I could for instance start writing about the product as mentioned in the title. How it's the first time I've used one of Lush's jellies or how this particular jelly isn't part of the Christmas range but could be because of its Santa red colour. I could start this blogpost with a quote or a citation. I could start with describing my 'beauty routine'. I could start with anything anywhere. But you know what, my brain said to me, followed by a deep sigh, maybe we should start with some questions like: Why are beauty reviews the least exciting yet at the same time most hard thing to write?

"Now I'm not saying these type of posts are wrong, but it certainly takes an extra oomph to make those kind of posts interesting or exciting to read."

There's just a limited thing you can do with a beauty review. Maybe that's why most reviews I've read on this topic follows a particular sequence from 'hey how y'all doing' to 'look what I bought' to 'this is what the company says about it' to 'I like/dislike it' and finally finishing it with 'bye y'all'. Now I'm not saying these type of posts are wrong, but it certainly takes an extra oomph to make those kind of posts interesting or exciting to read. And most importantly to write. Which brings us to question two: When is a beauty review sufficient enough?


Suffice to say

Is saying 'it's a nice product, a bit slippery (but what do you expect from a jelly), the smell -described as mint mixed with cinnamon- is a bit indefinable but not indefinable enough to not mention it (I've asked everyone I know to sniff me but no one could explain the smell but they did smell it) and the product lasts for a very long time', good enough? Should I rate it? Seven out of ten or three our of five (although three seems a bit low compared to the seven, so perhaps a four...). But this makes me once again wonder about the level of entertainment that is either asked or required (if only for ones own sanity) within a beauty review. Because, yes, when I'm looking for a review I want to know the basic ins and outs within one glance, but it certainly helps if this one glance is met with humour or a certain kind of entertainment value.

"Although looking for this one-glance-wonder, I definitely appreciate when the author has put some more effort into it."

Although looking for this one-glance-wonder, I definitely appreciate when the author has put some more effort into it. The more effort, the more I might stick around and read other reviews. Not for the product but for the writer (which in my eyes is a big compliment). However this begs the question: Is a beauty review the place for a writer to showcase/show-off its 'talents' or should those tendencies be put somewhere else and the beauty review routine be respected for what it is? Or is this dependent on the intentions of the writer? Say: pure informational = bullet points, let me entertain you = rambling text? (Basically stating that less isn't more on an artistic level?)

And, if so, should the entertainer take into account review-qualities when labelling their blogpost as a review or should another word be put in place. For instance 'My Elaborated Thoughts On' or 'longview'. Even though the word review in itself doesn't implicate a short opinion-piece or assessment, it certainly, I think, signifies such intentions when the word is used within the blogosphere; as reviews within the blogosphere -especially beauty products related- are structured in a short and punchy way.


That's, like, so annoying

Now I'm not deliberately trying to derail this train of the beauty review, as it is neither in my power to derail or my intentions. But it is, I hope you agree, a bit annoying at times. Annoying because it's hard to break away from the blogosphere beauty review. Not only because naming something a review upholds certain expectations, but also because it's just so hard to think of something else. To think outside the bullet points, the 'I like it, it good' and the 'I would recommend this jelly to anyone who doesn't mind the feeling of a slimey-esque jiggle against their skin' (my sister absolutely despises it). What else is there to say? It's vegan. And? Uhm... uhm... One and one and one is three?

Perhaps this asks for more creative or original thinkers to crack this case. Perhaps there's no actual problem with the beauty review or a problem of urgent matter, as I believe reviews are still popular blogposts people eagerly read to get someone else's opinion before buying the products themselves. Maybe the prescribed structure most bloggers deploy is highly usable and attractive because of its duplicate character. You know what you're getting, both with the review as a 'genre' and after reading the review with the product.


To summarise

  • Christmas appropriate because of its festive colour
  • Nice product but chances you drop it is 100%
  • Smells a bit like mint mixed with cinnamon
  • Lasts for a long time
  • Vegan
  • Rating: 7/10 or 3.5/5




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6 comments

  1. Love Lush!

    www.moorehisstyle.com xx

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  2. The shower jelly at lush feels just like jello. I have never tried through, I have just touched it in the store. But I want to give the shower jelly a try.
    http://sugarcoatedbears.blogspot.com/

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    Replies
    1. If you like jello you should certainly try it, if not... well, join my sisters' club! It takes some getting used to but when you've got it all under control you ARE ready for the jelly... (sorry that was a bad attempt of a joke).

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  3. You've summed everything about a beauty post up really well! It's so difficult to break out of the mould when you're in it!

    Sophie xx // One Unique

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    1. Especially because when you try to break out of it you still have to refer to the mould so people recognise it as your thing being other or different than is 'normal'. It's truly rough to be a (beauty) blogger *deep sigh* *single salty tear* ;)

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