An Inconvenient Truth

by - October 23, 2015

A thing is not necessarily true because a man dies for it.
Oscar Wilde

It was early in the morning, the darkness of the night was still to be seen. Crows were sitting in the gutter next to the window, sniping away mean comments about the bare faced girl sitting inside. The girl in question had by no means the intention to get carried away by their foul play. Instead she started her morning routine, head held high.

The dimmed lights in her room revealed a shadow on the wall, mimicking every move she made. Powdering her nose, pinching her cheeks and darkening her eyelashes. All was done with magnificent elegance and smoothness. Only one thing was missing. As the girl pouted her lips, the shadow on the wall revealed a shock and turn. The girl fell with head and all down onto the dressing table, making quite some noise doing so. Froth was coming out of her mouth. Her whole body was shaking heavily, until, suddenly, it all stopped. Peace returned to the girl's room.

The crows, not sure as to what just happened, slowly turned their heads through the window. There lay the girl lifeless over the dressing table. In her hand, they could see, she was still holding onto her beloved lipstick. *dramatic music*

I may be miss Ignorant, but I didn't know that makeup had an expiration date. Well I did know, but chose to ignore it. Sort of. I've heard about the concept, but wasn't willing to accept the consequences. I mean, throwing away a Chanel lipstick? ARE YOU MAD WOMAN?! 

So I'll happily smear outdated lipstick on my face without 'knowing' it, but oh way if my milk is on the date (I don't drink milk, but it's the idea that counts). So to stop my own hypocrisy: from now on I'll only eat outdated food. jk. However, when on topic, I've read some time ago that a lot of food gets wasted -that's perfectly fine- just because the numbers on the packaging are in the past. Which is silly, really. Why throw away something that's still perfectly fine? Take a sniff, give it a little rub and you'll be fine! I hope.

Just to please my own curiosity -and still in Miss Marple-mode- I decided to go out and investigate. With magnifying glass and all. Behind my computer. OoooOOoooOOOOoooohh!

The first thing that caught my eye was the diversity of expiration dates that's been shared on the world wide web. What to believe? I don't know to be honest, so I just struck my luck and tried to find the most said answer (just to ease your mind). What I found:

  • Water-based foundation will last you 1 year (and its oil-based buddy 1.5 years).
  • You can smear as much concealer up to a year.
  • Mascara is good for 6 to 12 months.
  • Face powder has a will and a way for 2 years.
  • Lipstick and lip pencils less then 2 years.
  • Same goes for eyeliners and eyeshadows.
  • Nail polish? 1 year, although it depends on the quality of the product.

Regarding this list I'm in a bit of trouble. But I'll be good as long as I'm not getting delusional or actually ill. Although, I also think, it rather makes me a wild child. Living on the edge, playing with outdated makeup. Makes putting on lipstick a little bit more grim. Before you know it the reaper will be there to take you and your perfectly swatched lips for the ride of your life. Or naturally death. Either one.

Maybe I'll throw away that four year old Chanel lipstick. When I say 'throw away', I naturally mean: store away in my hoard of stuff that I own but don't use but are too pretty/precious/that will come in handy one day/I surely will need that sometime/I don't know when I'll need it, but I'll surely will/keeping it for the next generation/Oh f*ck it- stash.

If there's anything positive to take out of this post, is that you've got a perfectly good excuse now to buy a new lipstick. And if that doesn't brighten up that dark place where your heart used to be, nothing will!


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